Grammar at the Office

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good impression, grammar, professional, words, writing

Today I’m going to switch gears and talk about why writing well matters. Technology has made the actual “work” of writing much easier, but it’s also given birth to shortcuts that are often out of place in the work world.

LMKs and LOLs are great when we’re emailing friends or posting on Facebook, but they’re often inappropriate in a professional setting.

Little things matter! Run-on sentences peppered with commas drag readers along breathlessly until they reach the period. I’ve noticed more and more of these sentences – they slow readers down, forcing them to re-read until the meaning becomes clear.

Proper grammar can be part of the technological revolution – it’s the backbone of solid writing, especially when it comes to marketing your products and creating a professional image.

Think of it this way – you’re on a first date with an interesting, intelligent person, enjoying dinner as you get to know each other. Halfway through the meal, you notice broccoli stuck between your date’s front teeth. This isn’t about whether or not you politely point out your companion’s new dental concern; rather, it’s about a polished image that’s altered, ever so slightly, by this one detail.

That’s what solid grammar does for you – polishes each piece of your marketing campaign and enhances your brand. And emails and interoffice communication are included here. If you’re creating an image you want your customers to embrace, every bit of communication deserves your utmost.

Get rid of the broccoli and get going on creating a polished, professional image!

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Weird Word Wednesday!

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Franklin Delano Roosevelt, history, humor, inaugural address, inauguration, politics, President Barack Obama, speeches, squiddle, weird word, William Henry Harrison, Winston Churchill

Welcome to Weird Word Wednesday! Today’s weird word is squiddle, which means “to waste time with idle talk.”

Bear with me here – just a few days ago, President Barack Obama took the oath of office, officially starting his second term as president of the United States. The Twentieth Amendment to the Constitution states that “the terms of the President and Vice President shall end at noon on the 20th day of January.”

yahoo.com

I never gave it much thought, but when January 20th falls on a Sunday, as it did this year, the president takes the oath in private, and public festivities are held the following day.

President Obama took his oath of office on Sunday, January 20th, in a brief, two-minute ceremony in the White House Blue Room. No time for squiddling at all!

Generally speaking, two-term presidents’ inaugural addresses are briefer the second time. Contrast that with William Henry Harrison’s 1841 address, which lasted one hour and 45 minutes! He died a short time later of pneumonia, so we’ll never know how long a potential second address of his would have been. Harrison might well reign as our nation’s leading squiddler.

It’s fun (not to mention easy) to pick on politicians for being squiddlers. Many of their speeches, though, contain phrases that stir us to action (think of those given by Franklin Delano Roosevelt and Winston Churchill during World War II) but some…well, they just send us snoozing. We can be glad we weren’t in the audience in 1960 as Cuban leader Fidel Castro gave a four-hour whopper speech.

The work world is full of squiddlers, people who ramble on and on simply for the sake of hearing themselves talk. I hope you don’t know too many, but if you do, take heart that at least they’re not Lluis Colet. The French government worker rambled on and on for a record five days and four nights. 

Now that was a true Squiddlefest!

Neeps and Tatties

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donuts, Dutch, grammar, health care, humor, Kinsey Millhone, mystery, neeps, recipes, Sue Grafton, tatties, vegetables

Deerstalker hat

I just finished reading “T is for Trespass,” my favorite book in the Kinsey Millhone mystery series, written by Sue Grafton.

In it, Gus, an elderly man, becomes increasingly incapacitated thanks to the “ministrations” of Solana, a woman posing as an illegal home care giver. Private investigator Kinsey Millhone attempts to gain access to Gus’s house, only to be thwarted by Solana.

In an unusual twist, Kinsey ends up grocery shopping for Solana and Gus, heading to the store with a list of ingredients she’s doubtful of finding.

Dizzied by the produce selection, Kinsey asks a clerk for a rutabaga; he hands her “a big gnarly vegetable like a bloated potato with a waxy skin and a few green leaves growing out one end.”

“You’ve heard of neeps and tatties?” the clerk asks. “That’s a neep; also called a swede. The Germans survived on those in the winter of 1916 to 1917.”

Neeps? Tatties? Turns out these names are shortcuts for rutabagas and potatoes, vegetables often served with haggis, a Scottish food traditionally made with sheep’s heart, liver and lungs, boiled in a sheep’s stomach.

A neep

The neep is actually a pretty versatile little bugger! It belongs to the family of root vegetables (think beets, carrots, radishes, etc.), popping up in the produce aisle during the fall and winter months.

Turns out they’re nutritious, with respectable amounts of thiamine and vitamin B6. And if you can’t stomach them in stew, try scrubbing your pots with them! The lowly neep will do all the work – all you have to do is chop it up and boil it in water in the offending pot and voila! one clean pot, coming right up.

Dutch oliebollen

It reminded me of those traditional dishes, the ones my friend calls “comfort peasant food.” My favorite is oliebollen, Dutch donuts deep fried and rolled in sugar. I spent part of last year’s Hollandfest walking around with a paper bag of these, relishing every morsel. Not many made it home, either.

I’d love to hear about your favorite strange vegetable or odd family recipe, so please, share them below.

Speaking of making it home, Kinsey’s plan to grocery shop for the home care giver falls flat. She returns to Gus’s home, climbs the porch steps with the groceries and knocks on the door.

“To thwart me, she accepted the plastic sack and change for the twenty, then thanked me without inviting me inside. How exasperating!” Kinsey exclaims. “Now I’d have to come up with a fresh excuse to get in.”

Neeps on one side of the door; Kinsey on the other. The neeps are but a small part of this excellent story, one that gripped me to the last page – kudos to Sue Grafton for another well-written mystery!

Weird Word Wednesday!

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A Christmas Carol, atrabilious, George C Scott, Hippocrates, humor, melancholy, personality types, Scrooge, writing

Welcome to Weird Word Wednesday! Today’s word is atrabilious, pronounced “a-truh-bil-yuhs.” It’s an old Latin word, whose roots are a combination of “black bile + ous.” Not very appealing…

greekliving.net

According to the dictionary, atrabilious means “marked by melancholy” or “ill-natured; peevish.”

But let’s talk about the “black bile” for a minute – when Hippocrates (born in about 460 BC) studied the human body, he devised the idea of “humors” that formed temperament and behavior. These four elements, which Hippocrates considered liquids, included blood, yellow bile, black bile, and phlegm. Personality types were thought to be caused by a dominance of one type of “humor”;  therefore, melancholy people had an abundance of black bile in their systems.

This theory has since been tossed out the window, but we still use words from that time to describe personality types: melancholy, sanguine, choleric, phlegmatic.

I watched “A Christmas Carol” over the holidays, with Ebenezer Scrooge, the ill-natured, peevish main character of Charles Dickens’s tale, played to perfection by the late George C. Scott. Scrooge was a model of atrabiliousness.

Gertrude’s atrabilious behavior frightened the other residents of Sunset Hills Retirement Community, forcing them to hold their Bingo Tournament when they knew she’d be at the doctor’s office.

Here’s wishing you a day free of the Gertrudes of this world!

Finally – the Ultimate Hiccup Cure!

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editing, English history, hiccups, humor, medieval, onomatopoeia, proper grammar, strange word, weird word, weird words, words

“It is good to cast colde water in the face of him that hath the hiccups.” (Regiment of Lyfe, 1553)

“Regiment of Lyfe” was one of the first books on pediatrics, written by Thomas Phaire, an English doctor. I’m imagining medieval women storing jugs of water around their house, dousing their children at the first sign of hiccups.

http://www.abdn.ac.uk

The word “hiccup” belongs to a family of words called “onomatopoeic” (on-uh-mat-uh–pee-ic) words, those that sound like what they are. Think honk, beep, fizz, knock, ring, and you’re on the right track.

Interestingly, the word “onomatopoeia” has Latin roots, and came into use within a few decades as Phaire’s book – 1545.

Now that we know where onomatopoeic words originate, where in the heck to hiccups come from?? I turned to our friends at Mayo Clinic to learn more. Symptoms of hiccups are familiar – involuntary contractions of the diaphragm, followed by a sudden tightening of the vocal cords, which cause the “hic” sound. They’re caused by “a large meal, alcoholic beverages or sudden excitement.”

But how to rid yourself of them? Let’s try a few current remedies, like the standard one of drinking water or tickling the roof of your mouth with a cotton swab. Both of these interrupt the hiccuping cycle, but I’d opt for the first, simply because there’s too much potential for embarrassment with the second!

Think Albert ever got the hiccups?

My favorite was the suggestion that “sticking out your tongue and yanking on it may stop hiccups.” That’s not much better than having “colde water” cast in your face, and it’ll get you weird looks if you try it on the subway on your way to work.

Onomatopoeic words like hiccup and fizz are a lot of fun in general use, too.

In the heat of the candles on the dinner table, Milton’s new hair gel began to fizz. Across the table, Agnes couldn’t help herself and began to chortle loudly.

Gladys was close to the snapping point. Buford repeatedly walked around the house clacking his dentures, and Gladys was sure she’d go cuckoo if she had to endure this for much longer.

Start noticing onomatopoeic words in regular use – they’re everywhere, and definitely add zing to our everyday speech!

Anglo-Saxon Kryptonite

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Christopher Reeve, editing, English history, George Reeves, humor, proper grammar, reeve, sheriff, strange word, Superman, weird word, William the Conqueror

What do Superman and law enforcement have in common? That’s probably a “duh” moment for Superman fans, because of course our caped crusader stands for “truth, justice and the American way”!

biography.com

Several actors have played Superman over the years, from Kirk Alyn to Dean Cain, but interestingly, it’s George Reeves and Christopher Reeve, two well-known Supermen, who give us a historical perspective on the superhero’s law-abiding roots. Keep in mind that George Reeves was born “George Brewer,” but for the sake of today’s connection, we’ll roll with his stage name.

We’re heading back to Anglo-Saxon England, the period of time from the end of the Roman occupation until William the Conqueror, the first Norman king, showed up in 1066.

According to “Exploring Government” a curriculum written by Ray Notgrass, Anglo-Saxon kings “utilized administrative districts called shires to give them greater control over local areas.” Representatives in these areas were called earls, landowners who commanded the local militia. Earls are still around – the late Princess Diana’s brother, Charles, is the 9th Earl Spencer – although their duties have changed considerably over the centuries.

Keeping a lid on things were peace officers called reeves.

myweb.ecomplanet.com

When William the Conqueror showed up, he brought with him French ways, and decided that counts should act as local representatives instead of earls. Instead of an administrative district called a shire, the count was now in charge of a county. The reeves didn’t get a name change, but the pronunciation of their job changed. Over the centuries, “Shire-reeve” morphed, becoming “sheriff.”

And today, sheriffs are still generally in charge of a county – we have Anglo-Saxon England to thank for those terms.

And isn’t it interesting that Christopher Reeve, along with others having the surname “Reeves” or “Reeve” might well have had ancestors in law enforcement way back when?

Minus the cape, it seems we’ve always needed someone around to keep a lid on things. Give a friendly wave to your neighborhood reeve next time he drives by!

Weird Word Wednesday!

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culture, Duke of Marlborough, editing, grammar, history, humor, inspissate, proper grammar, society, strange word, Vanderbilt, weird word, Winston Churchill, writing

Welcome to 2013! What better way to start the year than with a weird word.

Today’s word is inspissate, pronounced “in-SPIS-ate,” and it means “to thicken, as by evaporation; to make or become dense.”

First thing that popped in my mind was cooking, but it turns out people are affected by inspissation, too.

thefarside.com

Cletus’s refusal to read signs indicated an inspissated mind, no matter how much he protested to the contrary.

Bear with me as we gather a little background – I’m still reading “Consuelo and Alva Vanderbilt” by Amanda Mackenzie Stuart, and have reached the part where Consuelo marries the Englishman Charles Richard John Spencer-Churchill, better known as the 9th Duke of Marlborough.

wikipedia.com

After a very brief courtship (six weeks or so) Alva, Consuelo’s overbearing mother, hustled her daughter down the aisle, marrying Consuelo off to the 9th Duke on November 6, 1895. Consuelo was the only daughter of William K. and Alva Vanderbilt, and was one of several American heiresses who married into European aristocracy, Winston Churchill’s mother, Jennie Jerome, among them.

The 9th Duke and Winston Churchill were first cousins; Winston was wordy and full of ideas, while the Duke is a little harder to pin down. He’s described in the book as having “considerable ill humour,” while also being “sensitive and hospitable.”

One historian called the 9th Duke “an inspissated little man with a truly appalling attitude toward the ‘lower orders.'”

In other words, “a dense little man who disses commoners”? Ouch!

It seems that one day, Winston and the 9th Duke were discussing England’s rising unemployment figures, and “the Duke said disagreeably that he hoped they would reach two million,” according to Mackenzie Stuart’s book.

Well, that’s a cringeworthy comment, isn’t it?

welcome2britain.com

Consuelo came with a hefty dowry of $2.5 million, much of it going toward the upkeep of Blenheim, the 9th Duke’s palace; you think that would cheer up the Duke just a bit, but it seems not.

But how can we incorporate inspissated into our daily lives? Let’s see!

Norman’s attempts at becoming the next Iron Chef failed miserably when his sauce inspissated to a thick glop.

Hopefully both your cooking and mental efforts meet with much more success than either Norman’s or the 9th Duke’s.  Bon appetit!