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Wearing the wrong shoes

Wearing the wrong shoes

Ever find yourself in a situation where it feels like you’re wearing the wrong shoes? You know how you put them on, but jeez, taking them off has you tied up in knots.

Me, too!

At the beginning of 2013, I took a part-time job. I felt it was time for a new experience, a different environment, fresh challenges.

Zoom ahead seven months, and I realized that being unable to write regularly was like wearing shoes that bit at my heel. Lack of creativity and missing the opportunity to help others with my words was digging in, creating some mighty uncomfortable blisters.

I knew I had to leave my part-time job. You’d think that after such a short stint it would be easy, but it wasn’t. Already, I formed attachments to the people and the familiarity of the place, but still, I knew I needed to go. 

But what to say? When to say it? How to say it? For someone who writes for a living, the words I sought had vanished. In the wee hours, I stared at the ceiling, knowing I needed to give my notice within the next few days.

I had prayed about this before, sought guidance, thought about it. Finally, in those late-night hours, it hit me:

I needed a C.O.W. 

cow closeup

It should have been as easy as the cud chewers that populate my neighborhood, grazing placidly, plodding to the barn at milking time.

But this cow was different. I needed the Courage to make the move, the Opportunity to do so, and the Words to share my decision. I’m not at the top of my game at 2:00 a.m., but hey (or is that “hay”?), I knew this made sense on some deep level.

A few days later, I knew it was my C.O.W. Moment, felt it in my bones, when the only people in the office were the manager and me. No phones ringing. No customers. No nothing.

It was time to put C.O.W. into action. I explained why I needed to return to writing, giving my two-week notice in a few short sentences.

My declaration was met with silence. For me, though, it was a comforting space.

It was OK.

Now that the dust settled, what have I learned? When I was stumbling shoelaces in knotsaround, thinking I didn’t know what I needed?

I did.

I’ve always been a writer, always been creative, and when the laces on my creative shoes were tied in knots, it was up to me to untie them.

Ever been there yourself? What was your C.O.W. Moment?