Is This Really What Success Feels Like?

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Arianna Huffington, career, elderly, giving, Huffington Post, John Burroughs, joy, naturalist, news, success

Huffington Post

I just finished reading Thrive by Arianna Huffington. You might recognize her as the cofounder of The Huffington Post, the online news aggregator, but I was curious to see how Huffington would come across as an author. In Thrive, Huffington says “more and more people are coming to realize (that) there is far more to living a truly successful life than just earning a bigger salary and capturing a corner office.”

She sets out a new definition of success, guided by four “legs,” including well-being, wisdom, wonder and giving. On page 232 of the “Giving” section, Huffington urges us not to miss the small opportunities that abound every day:

“Because however successful we are,” she writes, “when we go out into the world to ‘get things,’ when we strive to achieve a goal, we are operating from a perceived deficit, focused on what we don’t have and are trying to obtain – until the next goal is achieved. And then we go after the next goal. But when we give however little or much we have, we are tapping into our sense of abundance and overflow.”

Intriguing, isn’t it? We want “abundance and overflow,” but pursuing them in the traditional sense isn’t working. Goals are important, but if the goal is only to complete it and move on to the next one, how fulfilled can we become? Life then becomes a lengthy to-do list, rolled up tightly, to be unwound at a frantic pace that leaves us worn and unsatisfied.

Huffington urges us to give, not from a sense of obligation, but because giving “is the only way to counteract the excessive greed and narcissism that surrounds us.”

John Burroughs

She quotes the 19th-century naturalist John Burroughs, who said “The great opportunity is where you are. Do not despise your own place and hour. Every place is under the stars, every place is the center of the world.”

For the last few weeks, I’ve had the privilege of helping an elderly neighbor. I stop by in the morning and again in the evening to prepare meals, keep her company and do light housework. Her pace has slowed mine. At 92 years old, she’s not concerned with amassing money or furthering her career; rather, her joys come from the beauty of our summer days and the visits, every evening, of a wild turkey to her country yard. Blessings are abundant in her life, and she never fails to rejoice whenever they appear.

How has giving helped you? How can you find joy in small, simple things?

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Finding Your Passion – Bloom Where You’re Planted

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20 Feet from Stardom, Academy Award, backup singers, bloom where you're planted, career, finding your passion, musicians, Oscars, painting, rock and roll, Sting

Recently I wrote about finding your passion. The past few weeks, I’ve been nosing around in what it means to find a passion, and if “finding a purpose” is a more meaningful way to look at things.

In my 20s, I worked as a secretary in the engineering office of a local factory. My coworkers were great – nerdy, engineer types focused on getting the job done, creating new solutions for problems, and not giving up until they figured it out. I liked the energy around me, but after a few years, I grew restless. My work didn’t seem like “enough” anymore, so I mentioned this to one of the engineers I worked with. Al pondered a bit, smiled and said very nicely, “Bloom where you’re planted.”

I blinked. Ouch. I was a little taken aback, actually. Secretly I probably wanted Al to come around the desk with a hanky and a hug, to say that being stuck behind a desk all day must be pretty darn boring. Pity party, poor me.

It made me think, though. That job certainly wasn’t my passion, or my purpose, but what was I doing to make things better in the meantime?

Things have changed over the last two decades. Today, the number of “followers” you have or the number of hits your website got can become a measure of popularity, or worse yet, worth. It’s easy to eat this online attention like food for progress without knowing what purpose it brings.

http://www.twentyfeetfromstardom.com

I watched “20 Feet from Stardom,” the 2014 Academy Award-winner for best documentary about the world of backup singers. “Millions know their voices, but no one knows their names,” the synopsis says. Wow – imagine that – really! Following your dream and never truly being named. I love the rich harmony these singers bring to my favorite recordings, and was glad to learn more about them as people. Several, like Merry Clayton and Claudia Lennear, attempted solo careers that fell flat for several reasons. They sang regularly with the Rolling Stones, the Beatles, but flying solo didn’t cut it, which was understandably very difficult for these talented women to accept.

The director interviewed Sting, who said something very compelling, which applies to anyone trying to hone their craft – writers, artists, gardeners, teachers.

“For real musicians, there is a spiritual component to what they do. It’s got nothing to do with worldly success. The music is much more of an inner journey. Any other success is just cream on the cake. There’s this idea that you can go on ‘American Idol’ and suddenly become a star, but you may bypass the spiritual work you have to do to get there. If you bypass that, then your success will be wafer thin.”

Finding your passion, then, isn’t something that you’ll find under a rock or on a TV program. It’s part of your experience. My friend, Cassy Tully, is a wonderfully talented painter, capturing mood and joy with color and texture. Her most recent painting, Bloom, celebrates her artist’s journey. Not her success – her journey. I’ve written about jobs and passion before, and what I’m learning comes through very clearly: your passion isn’t “out there.” It’s more of a purpose, part of your journey, part of the way you serve those around you and the world at large. Don’t make it an unknowable, mysterious thing – start small and journey from there!

http://www.cassytully.com

 

 

“Finding Your Passion” is an Overused Phrase

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career, creative writing, finding your passion, following your dream, following your passion, L'Wren Scott, passion

Today I’m going out on a limb to share the growing concerns I have over the overuse of the phrase “finding your passion” in our culture.

It seems like if we’re not following our passion, searching out our passion, or devoting great amounts of time to even considering what exactly it might be, that we’re not truly fulfilled, not really living life to the fullest.

L’Wren Scott

What got me thinking was this week’s suicide of L’Wren Scott, a talented designer. On the outside, she had it all: wonderful career, exotic lifestyle, rock-star boyfriend, none of which was enough to keep her from taking her own life.

What seemed shining on the outside was probably very different from how Scott felt on the inside. We’ll never know, but it made me wonder about the exterior trappings of following your passion.

I’ve written about this before, but it bears repeating in our passion-driven culture. You are not your job. Really.

It’s just my opinion here, but I think people are getting so concerned about finding their passion that they’re merging it into their identity. When passion is outward-focused, a person will never be happy. The goal can never be reached. I see this in countless young people, who change jobs like they change their shoes, trying to find a career that fits, that rewards them completely. A job will never reward you completely, nor should it, because life needs balance.

We need to back up here and ask ourselves another question first:

I had dinner with a friend last week, and we talked about the way people seem to be stuck on finding their passion. Self-help books sag bookstore shelves, TV shows attempt to reveal the steps involved, and magazines blare the topic from their cover pages.

I wish my grandparents were still alive, because I’d ask them if they ever worried about finding their passion. I doubt it. They lived very quiet lives. My grandpa worked at the same factory for decades. Grandma worked as the school lunch lady, which allowed her to be home when their seven kids were. They gardened, bowled, and visited with their friends. Very unpassionate stuff, and yet they seemed fulfilled.

The internet changed the game, but it didn’t come with a rule book. Sure, it made us more connected, more aware of each other’s lives, but we became more inclined to make comparisons that hold no weight, kind of like how many viewed L’Wren Scott’s glamorous life. In the glare of the internet spotlight, suddenly it doesn’t seem “enough” to go to work and come home again, to be fulfilled by a simple life outside a job.

Steve Olsher discusses this dilemma in his post “Avoid Turning Your Passions into Your Career.” We’ve gotten off track, thinking that once you find your passion, money will flow into your pockets.

It doesn’t matter what you do; first you need to figure out what kind of person you want to be.

Then you might not need to hang your hat on the fact that you’re a famous writer. Or a celebrity chef. Because if you’re still comparing your “success” to others, you’ll never get there.

Carnegie Mellon commencement ’08

Hard work and a few knocks create success, and if you’re lucky, bring compassion for others. Simplicity, not job hopping, brings joy. Shannon Ables discusses this in her blog, “The Simply Luxurious Life,” and I especially enjoyed her post “How to Create Opportunities.”

It’s not that you shouldn’t be passionate – not at all! I hope you enjoy what you do, and go after what makes you fulfilled. Just don’t look outside yourself for the answer to “what kind of person do you want to be?” Then it won’t matter so much what you do; it’ll matter more who you are when you do it.

You Are Not Your Job. Really.

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calling, career, challenges, Christian, creativity, inspiration, job, John Ortberg, mission, Peter D. Mallett, roadblocks, writing

I haven’t been looking for them, but I’ve been finding what I call inspirational “roadblocks” popping up lately.

Generally, it’s handy when our inspiration arrives in neatly wrapped packages. We gleefully open them, and they propel us into the sky of creativity where our work will burst open like a blaze of fireworks, noticed by everyone on the ground.

But inspirational “roadblocks” thwart our efforts, and for good reason. They’re meant to stop us, to get us to consider just why we’re writing, why we’re painting, why we’re delivering mail to hundreds of customers every day.

Are you doing it for the right reasons?

I was given a great inspirational roadblock by Peter D. Mallet, in his recent post “What is Successful Writing.” When I started writing, did I set out to become the next Ernest Hemingway? The next Agatha Christie? Nah. Although it would be nice, I just wanted my writing to make a difference, and Peter’s post discusses this very well.

A few days later, I picked up a great book, John Ortberg’s “When the Game is Over It All Goes Back in the Box.” Ortberg compellingly points out that there’s a distinction between our job and our calling.

And get this: you are not your job.

I borrow from his book, starting on page 160, to share just how to find your calling. It might be the same as your job, but for those who aren’t sure, I hope this helps.

1) Your Mission Starts Where You Are, Not Where You Think You Should Be. Ortberg says “Sometimes we’re tempted to think that our current position/job/situation is a barrier to our mission, but, in fact, it is where it starts. Being significant is not the same as looking significant…”

2) Your Mission Is Not About You. Ortberg uses Jesus’ lesson “You are the salt of the earth” to demonstrate that salt’s job is to “lose itself in something much bigger and more glorious; then it fulfills its destiny…If I do (something) by myself, for myself, it’s death. If I do it with God, for others, it’s life.” He doesn’t mean we should all rush out and sign up to be missionaries in Estonia; it’s whatever situation you’re in now where you can become “salt.”

3) Your Mission Will Use Your Strengths. “We all have the capacity for (strengths like wisdom, courage, humanity and justice),” Ortberg writes. “But a few of them resonate more deeply in you; they are your ‘signature strengths.'” Use them.

4) Your Mission Will Use Your Weaknesses. Your greatest burdens can become your greatest gifts – if you let them.

5)  Your Mission Will Be Connected to Your Deepest Dissatisfactions. “What troubles you most?” Ortberg asks. “Usually we try to avoid unpleasantness, but if you have a sense that your mission involves helping the poor, spend some time around those in poverty. Allow your emotions to become deeply engaged, and carry with you that fire that things must change.”

I’ve wanted to be a writer since I was a kid – I created a family newspaper that I sold to my parents for ten cents a copy. It was colorful and shared the exciting tidbits of daily life in our small home. Unfortunately, it folded after one or two editions, due to lack of interest on the part of the head writer. Still, that fire burned.

Fast forward – now, it would be rewarding to share the joy of reading with a child who’s struggling in school. With an adult who’s never admitted they can’t read, but wants to learn.

Ortberg’s points and Mallett’s ideas got me thinking.

I still need to write, and don’t plan on switching jobs, but it’s good to have an inspirational roadblock to shake up your thought process.

Don’t get hung up on letting your job become your identity. Like Peter D. Mallett and John Ortberg point out, consider why you’re doing your work. It’s great food for thought!