Is Pope Francis Uh-Mazing? Apparently Only Halfway…

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amazing, CBS News, epidemic, grammar, Huffington Post, humor, miracle, overused words, Pope Francis, Wal-Mart

I was buoyed today by Peg at Peg O’Leg’s Ramblings. In honor of tax day, she reposted an earlier musing. With her Me No Like-y Tax, she says, “each time the word ‘like’ is used, except to express a preference or to compare things, it will be taxed.”

Being a writer and a bit of a grammar freak, I’m all for it. I once snatched a marker from my daughter’s purse in the middle of Wal-Mart so I could correct a glaring apostrophe lapse on one of their signs. Emily abandoned me in the toothpaste aisle, my marker thrust toward the lights in triumph, but I felt, I knew it was my sworn duty to uphold the standard in this Apostrophe-Challenged World. After all, it’s not the first time I’ve caught Wal-Mart flubbing one of their signs.

But because apostrophe errors are widespread, I had to chill – my self-imposed burden became too much to carry alone. It was easier to let that one go and pick a new battle. Mostly.

Enter AMAZING. Misused apostrophes are now a mosquito bite on the scene compared to this pervasive, overused adjective.

Dictionary.com‘s definition of amazing is “to overwhelm with surprise or sudden wonder; astonish greatly.”

I was driving along the other day when I heard a radio ad for The Mineshaft Restaurant outside Milwaukee. Hmmm, I thought. Wonder if this place is worth the drive? After the radio announcer called it “The amazing Mineshaft” at least four times during the 30-second commercial, I decided I just couldn’t go there.

Not because the food isn’t good – I’m sure it is. I’m sure the wait staff is efficient and the place is clean. But when the waiter puts your meal in front of you, will you be speechless because of the astonishing way the pasta has been arranged on the plate? Will the pie bring you to tears? Probably not.

Others are noticing this amazing epidemic. The Huffington Post jumped on the bandwagon, and CBS News went so far as to suggest that amazing be banished. There’s even a Facebook page dedicated to Overuse of the Word Amazing.

The other night I was watching Steven and Chris on CBC. They’re engaging and fun, making fashion and food appealing and enjoyable. Their style consultant dressed her models in spunky spring fashions, then went on to call many of the ensembles amazing. She even called some of them uh-mazing.

The only truly uh-mazing thing I’ve heard lately is when Pope Francis kissed a relic holding the dried blood of St. Gennaro, turning part of the blood to liquid. And the poor guy only got credit for a half-miracle, because not all the blood liquefied. Apparently he didn’t kiss hard enough. Bummer.

So I’m with you, Peg – it’s gotta stop. Not sure if taxing is the answer, but I’ll keep my marker ready just in case…

Quit When You’re Ahead???

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cashmere, clothing, fashion, grammar, humor, Lands' End, quitting, shirts, style, sweaters, vests, words, writing, writing tips

I like Lands’ End clothes. There. I said it.

My LE vest collection

I’m not obsessed; that sounds stalker-y and decidedly creepy. Rather, I prefer the benign-sounding “appreciate” to describe how I feel about the quality of their clothes, the color selections, and the fact that their customer service people are downright friendly.

Why, just yesterday I placed a reorder and the customer service lady and I ended up chatting about the little village where I live and its proximity to the lake. What’s not to like about that?

Almost made me want to order another pair of pants as long as I was at it!

I also read the humorous and informative View from the Lighthouse, Lands’ End’s blog. I’d love to write for them someday, given my interest in clothes and my enjoyment of words; for now, I’m content to hear what their writers have to say.

Imagine my surprise when “Bob, an actual writer here at Lands’ End” wrote about his experiences with knowing when to quit in his blog post “Seams Plausible: How Many…How Long…How Many…”

My LE gingham shirt collection…

Seems (or is that “seams?”) Bob and I share a problem. No, not when to stop buying Lands’ End gingham shirts (see photo at right…) but when to quit it with the words.

It’s so hard – sometimes the words just flow, a veritable Vesuvius of vocabulary, and I end my writing day in a semi-comatose state, fairly drooling over my keyboard. Words march, like a picnic under attack by an ant hill, across my screen.

Then the new day dawns, and I revisit the scene of my crime. I’m shocked, shocked I tell you, by what I’ve spewed on the page. Why did I get so windy? Who wants to read all this garbage?

Thankfully, help is available. The Daily Muse has five great suggestions, one of which is to be ruthless. “Chop some of those words, sentences and paragraphs,” they say. It “will help make sure that the true meat of your piece is what shines.”

My LE cashmere sweaters

They also advise eliminating all the adjectives and adverbs, but jeez, isn’t that going a bit far? I think I’ll save that exercise for my next piece, and order a few more cashmere sweaters instead…

Bob, a writer at Lands’ End

In the meantime, I’m glad someone else out there can identify with me. Thanks a lot, Bob, and here’s to happy writing!

 

Warm and Fuzzy Weird Word Wednesday

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arctophile, auction, collector, grammar, teddy bears, Valentine's Day, weird words

Welcome to Weird Word Wednesday! Today’s word elicits a great big “awwww” because of its warm, fuzzy nature. That word is arctophile. The suffix “phile” is a Greek word meaning “lover of”or “enthusiast of,” and you’ve probably seen it in other words like “bibliophile,” (lover of books) or “turophile,” (a lover of cheese).

Gund teddy bear

But if you’re an arctophile, you love teddy bears, those squishy, cuddly little toys that make you smile. I think, deep down, we’re all arctophiles. Who can resist? Not our daughter – she’s been an ardent arctophile since she was little. We have seven or eight huge plastic storage bins, filled to the gills with her collection of teddy bears. Thank goodness she’s not Jackie Miley, the South Dakota woman who’s amassed over 7,000 teddy bears!

I’ll share the history of the teddy bear here. It’s rather coincidental that the first teddy bear was sold on February 15, 1903, the day after Valentine’s Day. These little guys have always been associated with love! And sometimes money – in 2000, a Steiff bear, made with the Louis Vuitton logo, was auctioned for $2.1 million. I don’t think our daughter will be that fortunate if she decides to auction off her bear collection!

Our language  has adapted many words with the Greek ending “phile.” There’s “ichthyophile,” or “lover of fish” and “oenophile,” a “lover of wines.” One of my favorites is “batrachophile,” a “lover of amphibians.” A full list of these fun words can be found here – enjoy!

Frogs may not be as cuddly as teddy bears, but they do have a certain charm. I’ll leave you with a quote from Teddy Roosevelt, the man who unknowingly inspired the arctophile craze:

“It is better to be faithful than famous.”

Hangry Pangs Strike Weird Word Wednesday…

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angry, creative writing, grammar, humor, hunger, proper grammar, shopping, weird words, writing

Welcome to Weird Word Wednesday! Today’s word is made up, on the order of “blurple” (a mix of blue and purple) or “meanderthal,” (a person who wanders aimlessly while shopping, often as a result of low blood sugar).

Thanks to unwords, I got a little help with the concept of blended words. Today’s word, hangry, is a great mix of two words, “hunger” and “anger,” that dreadful, snarky feeling that some people get when deprived of food for too long.

Over the weekend, I enjoyed a little “Girls’ Day” with my mom and daughter. We met at the Shops at Woodlake, in Kohler, WI, for a couple hours of browsing and hanging out. My daughter ate a late breakfast, so by the time mid-afternoon rolled around (after a couple hours of being a meanderthal) her stomach started rumbling.

An hour later, she was downright hangry. Thankfully, she’s old enough not to act upon it. She might have felt suck-cheeked and light-headed with hunger, but she didn’t succumb to her hangry impulses – those dark urges that make you feel like your teeth are growing pointy and anything semi-resembling food is clawed up and chomped down with glassy-eyed ferocity.

Perhaps it’s genetic – I have another family member who experiences hanger when he’s food-deprived for too long, and a dear friend also admits to hangry impulses if she’s out with her hubby and there’s no restaurant in sight when the urge strikes.

But what to do when that happens? Let’s face it – you can plan ahead and prudently pack little Ziploc bags of trail mix, but when hanger strikes, the plastic bag gets wolfed down along with the raisins in seconds, leaving you unfulfilled, seeking more substantial sustenance.

There are a lot of other great blended words out there – scrickle (a light, scratching tickle), or puffalope (a puffy, padded envelope), so if you’ve incorporated any into your vocabulary, please share!

In the meantime, we fed my daughter and the shopping trip continued without incident.

Until the next time her hangry impulses take over…

Weird Word Wednesday!

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cultural differences, etiquette, friends, grammar, halch, handshake, hugging, restaurants, weird word

Welcome to Weird Word Wednesday! If you’re fortunate enough to live or work with a bunch of happy people, you’ll appreciate today’s weird word. Heck, today’s word just might pull you out of a funk if you give it a whirl!

Today’s great word is halch. It  means “to hug or embrace.” Our culture isn’t much for hugging at work, but I’ve noticed enough hugging in public to make me think that, overall, we’re a pretty happy nation.

We had dinner with friends recently at a wonderfully charming restaurant we’ve been to many times before. It was a while since we’d seen these great friends, so we halched as we greeted each other.

I’ve also seen groups of teenage girls, hugging like there’s no tomorrow, bouncing around with such enthusiasm that it’s enough to make me a little leery. Will I be pulled into their clutches if I get too close?

But which social situations demand a halch and when should we just settle for a handshake? Cultures around the world handle this differently, and here in the United States, it can get a little weird – I’ve been at events where I expected a handshake, but the person leaned in for a hug. This opens up a whole can of worms – just how long should the hug last? One arm or two? What if you’re the hugger and the huggee resists? It’s so much easier with family at Christmastime, isn’t it?

Sigh…all this thought for a simple halch! To sort it out, I did a little digging and came up with a source that’s pretty straightforward and sensible – at work, it’s best to stick with a handshake.

Lloyd’s excessive halching at the office created an awkward moment for Harold, who was unable to escape gracefully.

Here’s to halching – enjoy it in moderation!

Weird Word Wednesday!

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bowling, fun words, grammar, grandma, grandparents, Wednesday, weird word

We’re here again, at that exciting midpoint of the week when the weekend is in sight and all is well with the world. Let’s brighten it up even further with a weird word!

Today’s weird word is nighwhat. It’s an obsolete word meaning “nearly, almost.” If we take a gander at the first part of the word, “nigh,” we see it can either mean “near in space or time,” or “almost.”

Because it’s rather obsolete, nighwhat sounds downright odd when spoken. There might be pockets of culture where this word is used, and if you know of such a place, let me know. Using nighwhat in a sentence becomes tricky, but it can be done! Just think of an instance when something almost happened, and you’ve got a start.

As a novice bowler, Edna had no idea she was facing the wrong way when it came time for her turn. Otto was nighwhat flattened after she threw her ball into the crowd.

Nighwhat also reminds me of an interview I did a few years ago with a couple who had been married for 70 years. Their daughter called with background information, giving me a heads-up that her parents used words like “pritnear.” I laughed, because my grandparents used “pritnear” very often. It’s similar in meaning to “nighwhat,” and my grandma would say something like, “It’s pritnear time to get ready for dinner.”

So…today’s challenge is to use “nighwhat” (or pritnear!) in a sentence. Tell me about how you worked this quirky word into your everyday speech.

Before you know it, it’ll be nighwhat time for our next Weird Word Wednesday!

Weird Word Wednesday!

Tags

anti-perspirant, armpits, deodorant, grammar, history, hygiene, marketing, Old English, oxter, oxters, weird word

Welcome to Weird Word Wednesday! Today’s word is oxter. It sounds bovine, but has nothing to do with large, slow-moving plow pullers from days gone by.

Actually, you have oxters. I have oxters. Sis, boom, bah, we all have oxters!

They’re armpits. Yep, plain and simple, the word “oxter” comes from the Old English “ocusta” meaning “armpit.” Way back when, in the 1400s, folks were talking about oxters, and given their lack of hygiene, we can only imagine what was being said.

We’ve come a long way, baby, and have bazillions of products to take care of any suspicious smells emanating from our oxters. But where did deodorant come from? Turns out, back in the day, smelling funny just wasn’t discussed. It was improper, unseemly, to talk about our odors, but leave it to a marketer to find a way to bring the smell out into the open so they could sell us something to fix it!

And like a great smell, the deodorant industry has blossomed, selling over $10.5 billion in 2008. Whew! Or “phew!” as the case may be…

I’ll let you take a peek at the difference between deodorant and anti-perspirants here, and keep the conversation focused on our oxters. (Be aware that we all have different odors, and stronger smells might indicate a medical condition or the body’s reaction to a change in diet.)

Melvina was torn; despite her intense attraction to Lionel, the smell emanating from his oxters gave her pause. Could she ever have such a stinky steady in her life?

Here’s to our oxters – may they never get in the way of a good relationship!

Weird Word Wednesday!

Tags

bad fashion, children, famous speeches, fanny pack, flagitation, grammar, history, Patrick Henry, weird word, writing

Welcome to Weird Word Wednesday! This post will be especially meaningful for parents out there, while also serving as a heads-up for expecting parents. Who knows; maybe it’ll even be useful in a workplace setting, for as we shall soon see, there’s all kinds of flagitation going on out there!

Yes, today’s word is flagitation, and it means “asking or demanding with passion.” Mothers nod heavily, recalling instances when their children wore them down with their incessant flagitation.

Heather felt her hair frizzle; if she had to listen to Jeremy’s whining flagitation for another second, there was no telling what would happen to the carton of eggs she held in her hand.

But flagitation isn’t limited to the world of raising children. There are plenty of instances of adults who use flagitation to get their way.

Reginald believed that office morale would improve if “Fanny Pack Friday” were implemented. Sadly, his incessant flagitation alienated all his coworkers except one.

Is there ever an appropriate time for flagitation? I suppose during the American Revolution, it may have come in handy in 1775 when Patrick Henry gave his “Give Me Liberty or Give Me Death” speech. History is rife with moments when leaders used flagitation to win the battle or to sway people to their way of thinking. Nowadays, we tend to attribute this characteristic to wheedling children or manipulative coworkers.

But if flagitation works for you, go for it!

Dogs on Wheels Leading the Way…

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adversity, Barbara Techel, dachshund, Frankie, grammar, overcoming fear, passion, positive spirit, writing

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk to let it blossom.” Anais Nin

Today’s post is still about writing, but at its core, it’s about stepping through fear to become who you’re really meant to be. And it doesn’t matter whether you’re a writer, an engineer or a mail carrier – we all have dreams in our hearts that yearn to come true. It’s fun thinking, wishing, hoping, but sometimes, actually acting on those dreams can create a lurching fear, holding us back.

That’s why I’d like to you meet Barbara Techel. She’s known mainly for her children’s books, authoring the “Frankie the Walk ‘N Roll Dog,” series, along with “For the Love of Animals: A Collection of Short Stories,” but it’s the work she’s done promoting animals with disabilities that’s nothing short of inspirational.

And she never dreamed of being an author. Reaching her 40s brought “a restlessness,” a seeking for something more. Barbara always loved animals, having a passion and sensitivity towards her furry friends that ran deep.

Frankie, the Walk ‘N Roll Dog

To know Barbara, you have to know about Frankie, her late dachshund with liquid chocolate eyes and a spirit that invigorated every inch of her being. A fall left Frankie paralyzed, right at about the same time that Barbara herself was feeling paralyzed in her career.

Frankie was diagnosed with Intervertebral Disc Disease and eventually fitted for a custom dog wheelchair. Overnight, her needs became immediate, paramount, taking the spotlight off Barbara’s life situation, forcing her to make a move.

“I never considered having, or adopting, an animal with a disability before,” Barbara said. “But Frankie changed all that. It wasn’t easy at the beginning, and honestly, I questioned whether or not I wanted the responsibility, or if it was even the right thing to do. Would she have a quality life?”

Frankie, however, didn’t seem to notice. Fitted with wheels, the spunky little dachshund carried on as only dogs can, oblivious of her wheelchair or her disability. She was mobile again, and that’s what mattered.

And so was Barbara. Motivated by Frankie’s spirit in the face of adversity, Barbara found herself set free to pursue a career she had never dreamed of. Frankie became a registered therapy dog, and the pair appeared regularly at nursing homes and schools, where they urged children to “stay positive” in the face of challenges.

“I’ve always loved animals, especially dogs, so deeply,” Barbara said. “I wondered how I could share that with the world. Well, just by starting small with writing for a local column, led me to where I am today, still writing and writing about the human-animal bond.”

If you ask, Barbara will tell you that the indecision and second-guessing didn’t evaporate overnight; she still struggled, but taking the first steps toward a career focused on service and acceptance gave her the wings she needed for liftoff.

“I couldn’t live like that any longer. Once you break away from that, it is so gratifying and freeing,” Barbara said. “We think there is so much risk in following our passion that we stay stuck in a place that seems somewhat comfortable, but also comes with much pain at times.”

Barbara is sharing those experiences in her newest book, “Through Frankie’s Eyes: One woman’s journey to her authentic self and the dog on wheels who led the way.”

Her advice to others yearning to follow their passion? Start small and surround yourself with those who will support and nurture you along the way.

“I gravitate towards animal-loving people, as well as positive people,” she said. “The more I do, the more my world has opened up in a way I could have never imagined.”

Three Steps to Avoid the Cement Truck of Creativity…

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advice for writers, creative writing, editing, grammar, procrastination, proofreading, writing

It  happens to all of us sooner or later. Whether you’re a writer, a painter, an engineer or a pastor, we all have projects that need doing – books and articles to write, a looming customer deadline, a sermon that won’t reveal itself.

And there you sit…and sit…and sit.

I’ve been there, and I’d have to guess that you have, too. Words don’t magically appear on my computer screen, and things outside the window are suddenly a lot more appealing than what I’m really supposed to be doing.

The ideas are like cement – lacking color and flowing at a glacial pace.

I sometimes struggle with how to begin, and I mean that quite literally. I have the germ of an idea, waiting to burst through the soil of my mind, but I can’t seem to think of the introduction. Oh, sure, everything else lurks just beneath the surface, but I can’t get that first line to materialize.

Over the years, I’ve learned a few things that I hope might help you.

1)  Write around the block. When the introduction won’t come, I start in on the rest. Once, I even went so far as to write “this introduction sucks” at the top of the page, then went on to write my article. After I reviewed my work, an introductory paragraph popped in my head, so I ran with it.

2)  Run around the block. Literally, if you have to. Otherwise, step back. Sometimes our brains become so bogged down in fleshing out ideas that we lose the ability to sift and sort, choosing what’s important. When I feel my hair standing on end, I know it’s time to step away. There have been times when a mundane activity like washing the dishes unleashes an idea. It’s weird, but when I stop chasing, the idea often comes to me.

3) Just do it. I’m a planner, an investigator. While that’s great for gathering information, it can also be an excuse to procrastinate. I can “justify” avoiding work because of my “need” to gather more information. A few days ago, I had a wonderful chat with my friend, Cassy Tully, who told me that sometimes you “just have to do it.” Wonderful advice!

How do you break through the occasional cement block of creativity? I’d love to hear your ideas, because I’m always looking for ways to improve my productivity – both in writing and life in general.