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Tag Archives: Jess Witkins

Five Truths and a Lie

28 Tuesday Jul 2015

Posted by dmswriter in humor

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

Bubble Yum, cemetery, childhood memories, Grand Prix, Happiness Project, humor, James Garner, Jess Witkins, lie, truths

Inspired by Jess Witkins over at The Happiness Project, I’ve decided to do my own version of her game “Five Truths and a Lie.”

person lyingAs Jess explains it, I’ll share six random things about myself, and you decide which one of them is a lie.

To take it a step further, I’ve decided to run with a childhood theme. All the items listed below come from my misspent youth.

I’ll announce the winner this Friday. As Jess says, the winner gets bragging rights, and a smug sense of satisfaction that comes from knowing which of my random items is nothing but a big ol’ fib!

Capture

1. I once got a pencil lead stuck in the upper left corner of my scalp. Yes, I say “corner” because if I ever go bald, it ain’t gonna be pretty.

1980 Pontiac Grand Prix. A popular car2. One snowy night, we drove my friend’s mom’s Grand Prix almost through the back of their garage. Notice I said “almost.” It was just a few boards that got dislodged, for Pete’s sake.

3. One of my earliest jobs was a grave digger at a pet cemetery just outside town. Creep-E.

4. I once wrote a school paper for a friend in exchange for 20 packages of Bubble Yum gum. It was a transaction my teeth soon regretted…

James Garner starred as Jim Rockford in the TV show

5. I had a secret mini-crush on James Garner when he starred in “The Rockford Files.” C’mon – tell me that smile isn’t adorable!

6. I never played Ding-Dong Ditch-It or toilet papered anyone’s house. Ever.

Feel free to guess below. Share your own list, or write your own post and link it back here – either way, it’ll be fun to guess which one’s the lie!

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Tag! Why I Do What I Do

20 Tuesday May 2014

Posted by dmswriter in Updates

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advice for writers, Barbara Techel, creative writing, humorous essays, Jess Witkins, Peter Mallett, Susie Lindau, writing, writing process

This morning I got tagged by fellow blogger Jess Witkins over at The Happiness Project. Turns out Jess was tagged by Valerie Biel, asked to share with readers why she does what she does.

cartoon_newspaperI’m having fun pondering this one, because I’ve never given much thought to exactly why I do what I do. You see, I’ve always just wanted to be a writer. When I was a kid, I wrote a newspaper – I sold issues to my parents for ten cents a copy and drew illustrations with my crayons. Then in fifth grade, my teacher, the lovely Mrs. Esther Schaef, gave us a writing assignment: make an everyday item sound exciting. I took grass, spelled it backwards in the title, and made a whole mystery out of it. Mrs. Schaef told me it was some of the most delightful reading she’d come across, and that I was on track to becoming a good writer. Yeah, it was only grass, but I was hooked.

So thanks, Jess, for getting me thinking! Here are my answers to your questions:

What am I working on? I’m working on a series of humorous essays titled The Green Hornet Suit and Other Musings. It’s not that odd things happen often, but I do tend to find a lot in life is amusing. When I’m tickled by something, I let it “stew” for a while and then turn it into an essay. I also have the distinct pleasure of being copywriter for Cassy Tully – she’s a fantastic artist, and I get to write about her paintings and her progress. I write regularly for a local newspaper and Lakeshore Living magazine, a bimonthly publication issued by Gannett Media.

Ugly suits are fodder for humorous writing

A bit like the Green Hornet Suit…

How does my work differ from others of its genre? I’ll stick with my humorous essays here. My work is different because it’s me telling the stories, and finding something quirky or bizarre in the interactions I’ve had with the people in the essays. My grandpa, wearer of the infamous Green Hornet Suit (a plaid polyester number that should have been burned) wasn’t by nature a humorous person. He could be exasperating and often tested our patience, but when I stepped back and saw the humor in that, several essays were born.

Why do I write what I do? Like Jess, I believe that everyone has a story. Everyone. Whether I’m writing for Cassy, interviewing someone for the local newspaper, or writing an essay, it’s a story unfolding before me, and because I am a writer, I’m in the unique position of being able to find words for each person’s story.

How does my writing process work? I need to let ideas “stew” before I sit down to write, otherwise my writing feels forced. Sometimes I practice avoidance tactics before I start – clear off my desk, look out the window, crack open another Diet Pepsi – then finally glue my butt to the chair and get to work. Honestly, my humorous essays are the easiest to write – they often come tumbling out, and before I know it, I’ve got a few pages down, so it’s easy to like that work. Then I start weeding, pulling out words and phrases that don’t add to the story. More on that here…

Feedback has also been tremendously valuable. A couple months ago, Jess offered to beta read for me. I sent her copies of several humorous essays, which she critiqued. It really opened my eyes and made me realize that what I viewed as a developed essay needed more depth and detail. Her supportive critique has improved my work, and I keep many of Jess’s comments and questions in my head as I write new essays.

So there you have it! If they would like to participate, I tag the following writers whose work I admire: (If your schedules don’t allow it, or you’re not in the habit of participating like this, there’s no pressure from me to do so).

Susie Lindau at Susie Lindau’s Wild Ride – Her zany adventures always make me smile.

Barb Techel at Joyful Paws – Barb shares her experiences with living authentically.

Peter Mallett at Writing in Color – His website encourages other writers, and Peter’s always willing to offer support and advice.

 

 

 

 

 

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Feeling Nobbled? Breeze Over to Pemberley…

14 Wednesday May 2014

Posted by dmswriter in Updates

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

Belmont Stakes, Colin Firth, history, horse racing, Jane Austen, Jess Witkins, Kentucky Derby, murder mystery, mystery, PD James, Preakness, Pride and Prejudice, reading, TBR Challenge

The To Be Read Challenge asks readers to read 12 of their favorite books in a year's timeFellow blogger Jess Witkins is participating in the 2014 TBR Pile Challenge, hosted by Roof Beam Reader. The idea of the TBR Pile Challenge is basically to stack up 12 books you’ve always wanted to read, and take a year to read them. I’d have problems with that, in a good way. If a stack of 12 books was in front of me, I couldn’t parcel them out to last a year. I’d end up with hungry, suck-cheeked kids, wearing clothes from last week, a family neglected while I devoured my books.

Speaking of books, I just finished Death Comes to Pemberley by P.D. James. The legendary British mystery author is a longtime favorite of mine, and this book is a continuation of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, with a murder thrown in for good measure.

Ahem, confession here. Cough…Squirm…Up until a few months ago, I couldn’t stand Pride and Prejudice. I tried to read it, I really did. But I couldn’t hack it and returned the book to the library, satisfied when I heard its echoing thump in the return bin. Why, you ask, couldn’t I hack it?

Marry the girl, already!! I thought when Darcy agonized over Elizabeth. Or don’t!! Either way, get off the fence and DO something, man! (And don’t even get me started on Mrs. Bennet, Elizabeth’s overbearing, obnoxious mother. Yikes!)

Then my daughter had to read Pride and Prejudice for her high school English class, and asked for help deciphering the plot. Egads, I thought, feeling like I’d rather endure a root canal than a repeat of Mrs. Bennet trying to cajole and wheedle yet another soldier into marrying one of her daughters.

We ended up borrowing the PBS version of P&P from our neighbors. Honestly, I was prepared for my eyes to cross and glaze over, but you know what? I got hooked. Absolutely, totally hooked. What would Darcy do next? Why didn’t Elizabeth become putty in his wealthy hands? Questions swirled around in my head. 506 minutes on two discs? Not a problem for us! Full steam ahead, my daughter and I plowed through the miniseries in record time. And loved it.

Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth

I have many of P.D. James’s books in my collection, and when I saw Death Comes to Pemberley at the library, I snatched it up. Basically, Darcy (bless his heart, he finally married Elizabeth like we knew he would…) and Elizabeth are preparing for their annual autumn ball when Lydia Wickham, Elizabeth’s disgraced sister, arrives at Pemberley, shrieking and sobbing because she thinks her husband has been murdered. He hasn’t, but it’s 1803, so there’s no NCIS or DNA to get Wickham off the hook. Wickham goes to trial, and Darcy worries that the men of the town have been so stirred up by events that an impartial jury is impossible. The lawyer he’s hired, Henry Alveston, discusses the juror situation with Darcy, saying things are so serious that questions regarding fairness, jurors who might be nobbled, and judges who could be bribed by the opposition to turn against Wickham make things dire. (p. 144)

Nobbled??  I put the book down for a minute. Nobbled? I never heard that word before, so I looked it up. Nobbled means “to convince by fraudulent methods; misrepresent or lie to,” or even “to drug or disable a race horse to prevent its winning a race.”

I’m also a big horse racing fan, and never miss the Kentucky Derby, the Preakness, (this Saturday, people!) or the Belmont Stakes if I can help it, so it was fun to learn that nobble can be applied in several different circumstances.

California Chrome

California Chrome

So, since confession is good for the soul, I’m admitting that I might be willing to dig into Mansfield Park or Sense and Sensibility…just so long as I can find some cool words to share here.

…and no Mrs. Bennet to nobble things up…

Happy reading to anyone doing the 2014 TBR Challenge! And go California Chrome in this Saturday’s Preakness!

 

 

 

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