“Finding Your Passion” is an Overused Phrase

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career, creative writing, finding your passion, following your dream, following your passion, L'Wren Scott, passion

Today I’m going out on a limb to share the growing concerns I have over the overuse of the phrase “finding your passion” in our culture.

It seems like if we’re not following our passion, searching out our passion, or devoting great amounts of time to even considering what exactly it might be, that we’re not truly fulfilled, not really living life to the fullest.

L’Wren Scott

What got me thinking was this week’s suicide of L’Wren Scott, a talented designer. On the outside, she had it all: wonderful career, exotic lifestyle, rock-star boyfriend, none of which was enough to keep her from taking her own life.

What seemed shining on the outside was probably very different from how Scott felt on the inside. We’ll never know, but it made me wonder about the exterior trappings of following your passion.

I’ve written about this before, but it bears repeating in our passion-driven culture. You are not your job. Really.

It’s just my opinion here, but I think people are getting so concerned about finding their passion that they’re merging it into their identity. When passion is outward-focused, a person will never be happy. The goal can never be reached. I see this in countless young people, who change jobs like they change their shoes, trying to find a career that fits, that rewards them completely. A job will never reward you completely, nor should it, because life needs balance.

We need to back up here and ask ourselves another question first:

I had dinner with a friend last week, and we talked about the way people seem to be stuck on finding their passion. Self-help books sag bookstore shelves, TV shows attempt to reveal the steps involved, and magazines blare the topic from their cover pages.

I wish my grandparents were still alive, because I’d ask them if they ever worried about finding their passion. I doubt it. They lived very quiet lives. My grandpa worked at the same factory for decades. Grandma worked as the school lunch lady, which allowed her to be home when their seven kids were. They gardened, bowled, and visited with their friends. Very unpassionate stuff, and yet they seemed fulfilled.

The internet changed the game, but it didn’t come with a rule book. Sure, it made us more connected, more aware of each other’s lives, but we became more inclined to make comparisons that hold no weight, kind of like how many viewed L’Wren Scott’s glamorous life. In the glare of the internet spotlight, suddenly it doesn’t seem “enough” to go to work and come home again, to be fulfilled by a simple life outside a job.

Steve Olsher discusses this dilemma in his post “Avoid Turning Your Passions into Your Career.” We’ve gotten off track, thinking that once you find your passion, money will flow into your pockets.

It doesn’t matter what you do; first you need to figure out what kind of person you want to be.

Then you might not need to hang your hat on the fact that you’re a famous writer. Or a celebrity chef. Because if you’re still comparing your “success” to others, you’ll never get there.

Carnegie Mellon commencement ’08

Hard work and a few knocks create success, and if you’re lucky, bring compassion for others. Simplicity, not job hopping, brings joy. Shannon Ables discusses this in her blog, “The Simply Luxurious Life,” and I especially enjoyed her post “How to Create Opportunities.”

It’s not that you shouldn’t be passionate – not at all! I hope you enjoy what you do, and go after what makes you fulfilled. Just don’t look outside yourself for the answer to “what kind of person do you want to be?” Then it won’t matter so much what you do; it’ll matter more who you are when you do it.

Dogs on Wheels Leading the Way…

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adversity, Barbara Techel, dachshund, Frankie, grammar, overcoming fear, passion, positive spirit, writing

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk to let it blossom.” Anais Nin

Today’s post is still about writing, but at its core, it’s about stepping through fear to become who you’re really meant to be. And it doesn’t matter whether you’re a writer, an engineer or a mail carrier – we all have dreams in our hearts that yearn to come true. It’s fun thinking, wishing, hoping, but sometimes, actually acting on those dreams can create a lurching fear, holding us back.

That’s why I’d like to you meet Barbara Techel. She’s known mainly for her children’s books, authoring the “Frankie the Walk ‘N Roll Dog,” series, along with “For the Love of Animals: A Collection of Short Stories,” but it’s the work she’s done promoting animals with disabilities that’s nothing short of inspirational.

And she never dreamed of being an author. Reaching her 40s brought “a restlessness,” a seeking for something more. Barbara always loved animals, having a passion and sensitivity towards her furry friends that ran deep.

Frankie, the Walk ‘N Roll Dog

To know Barbara, you have to know about Frankie, her late dachshund with liquid chocolate eyes and a spirit that invigorated every inch of her being. A fall left Frankie paralyzed, right at about the same time that Barbara herself was feeling paralyzed in her career.

Frankie was diagnosed with Intervertebral Disc Disease and eventually fitted for a custom dog wheelchair. Overnight, her needs became immediate, paramount, taking the spotlight off Barbara’s life situation, forcing her to make a move.

“I never considered having, or adopting, an animal with a disability before,” Barbara said. “But Frankie changed all that. It wasn’t easy at the beginning, and honestly, I questioned whether or not I wanted the responsibility, or if it was even the right thing to do. Would she have a quality life?”

Frankie, however, didn’t seem to notice. Fitted with wheels, the spunky little dachshund carried on as only dogs can, oblivious of her wheelchair or her disability. She was mobile again, and that’s what mattered.

And so was Barbara. Motivated by Frankie’s spirit in the face of adversity, Barbara found herself set free to pursue a career she had never dreamed of. Frankie became a registered therapy dog, and the pair appeared regularly at nursing homes and schools, where they urged children to “stay positive” in the face of challenges.

“I’ve always loved animals, especially dogs, so deeply,” Barbara said. “I wondered how I could share that with the world. Well, just by starting small with writing for a local column, led me to where I am today, still writing and writing about the human-animal bond.”

If you ask, Barbara will tell you that the indecision and second-guessing didn’t evaporate overnight; she still struggled, but taking the first steps toward a career focused on service and acceptance gave her the wings she needed for liftoff.

“I couldn’t live like that any longer. Once you break away from that, it is so gratifying and freeing,” Barbara said. “We think there is so much risk in following our passion that we stay stuck in a place that seems somewhat comfortable, but also comes with much pain at times.”

Barbara is sharing those experiences in her newest book, “Through Frankie’s Eyes: One woman’s journey to her authentic self and the dog on wheels who led the way.”

Her advice to others yearning to follow their passion? Start small and surround yourself with those who will support and nurture you along the way.

“I gravitate towards animal-loving people, as well as positive people,” she said. “The more I do, the more my world has opened up in a way I could have never imagined.”