Quit When You’re Ahead???

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cashmere, clothing, fashion, grammar, humor, Lands' End, quitting, shirts, style, sweaters, vests, words, writing, writing tips

I like Lands’ End clothes. There. I said it.

My LE vest collection

I’m not obsessed; that sounds stalker-y and decidedly creepy. Rather, I prefer the benign-sounding “appreciate” to describe how I feel about the quality of their clothes, the color selections, and the fact that their customer service people are downright friendly.

Why, just yesterday I placed a reorder and the customer service lady and I ended up chatting about the little village where I live and its proximity to the lake. What’s not to like about that?

Almost made me want to order another pair of pants as long as I was at it!

I also read the humorous and informative View from the Lighthouse, Lands’ End’s blog. I’d love to write for them someday, given my interest in clothes and my enjoyment of words; for now, I’m content to hear what their writers have to say.

Imagine my surprise when “Bob, an actual writer here at Lands’ End” wrote about his experiences with knowing when to quit in his blog post “Seams Plausible: How Many…How Long…How Many…”

My LE gingham shirt collection…

Seems (or is that “seams?”) Bob and I share a problem. No, not when to stop buying Lands’ End gingham shirts (see photo at right…) but when to quit it with the words.

It’s so hard – sometimes the words just flow, a veritable Vesuvius of vocabulary, and I end my writing day in a semi-comatose state, fairly drooling over my keyboard. Words march, like a picnic under attack by an ant hill, across my screen.

Then the new day dawns, and I revisit the scene of my crime. I’m shocked, shocked I tell you, by what I’ve spewed on the page. Why did I get so windy? Who wants to read all this garbage?

Thankfully, help is available. The Daily Muse has five great suggestions, one of which is to be ruthless. “Chop some of those words, sentences and paragraphs,” they say. It “will help make sure that the true meat of your piece is what shines.”

My LE cashmere sweaters

They also advise eliminating all the adjectives and adverbs, but jeez, isn’t that going a bit far? I think I’ll save that exercise for my next piece, and order a few more cashmere sweaters instead…

Bob, a writer at Lands’ End

In the meantime, I’m glad someone else out there can identify with me. Thanks a lot, Bob, and here’s to happy writing!

 

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Thumbs Up Tuesdays

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Alan Paton, authors, Cry, favorite stories, great novel, the Beloved Country, words, writing

For the next five weeks, I’ll be running a series called “Thumbs Up Tuesdays” where I’ll share some of my favorite reads. Tracy over at The HeSo Project suggested the idea of a series, and I thought it was a great way to explore all kinds of word-related possibilities.

First off is one of my all-time favorites, Cry, the Beloved Country by South African writer Alan Paton. At its core, it asks two fundamental questions:

1. Why does injustice happen?

2. How does the acquisition of power – or lack of it – shape your character?

Briefly, the story revolves around the Reverend Stephen Kumalo, who receives a letter summoning him to Johannesburg, South Africa, to help his sister, Gertrude. Kumalo travels there, also hoping to find his son, Absalom, who traveled there and never returned.

Kumalo meets up with his letter-writing fellow priest, Msimangu, and the two visit John Kumalo, Stephen’s brother, who sends them to the factory where Absalom once worked. As the story unfolds, Kumalo sees the wide economic and social gaps between the races, something he didn’t experience in his small village.

Meanwhile, Arthur Jarvis, a proponent of racial justice, has been murdered, and the police suspect Absalom Kumalo.

I’ll stop here for obvious reasons.

The first time I finished Cry, the Beloved Country, I actually sat for a few minutes because I needed to appreciate fully the character of Stephen Kumalo. Throughout all this tension and personal tragedy, he wavered but never faltered. And his character wasn’t impossible, one of those people you secretly resent because you couldn’t breathe in the moral heights where they reside. Rather, Kumalo was flawed – seeking, hoping, grieving, and not finding – but still he pressed forward amid so many unanswered questions:

Why did Absalom turn to crime when he was raised otherwise? How would Kumalo handle the news that Absalom was jailed for the murder of a white man?

And finally, how did Kumalo react when his son was sentenced, not to life imprisonment, but to something far worse?

That’s why I like this book so much. If you really can’t wait, read the entire synopsis here or rent the movie. Otherwise, I’ll leave you with a quote from the book’s author, Alan Paton. Please share your favorite books below, too – I’m always looking for new titles, and I’d love to promote your favorite book on a “Thumbs Up Tuesday”!

 

The Power of Words

Tags

Arabic, blessing, Egypt, Greece, history, Italy, language, power of words, travel, traveling, words, writing

Think about the last time words moved you. A quote that had you reaching for pen and paper; wedding vows that made your heart stop, or a speech that rocked you to greater goals.

In September, 2011, we took a trip to Italy and Greece. Many moments there were powerful in their own right – treading the same stones that Julius Caesar had at the Roman Forum? Hard to wrap my mind around. Dining in the shadow of the Colosseum? Everything tasted better with such a spectacular view!

Our view of Athens from the Acropolis

And walking between the immense columns of the Parthenon, staring out over the rooftops of Athens left me silent. Do modern-day Athenians take this view for granted? Forget that one of the world’s most iconic images looms above, day after day, watching?

One of the most powerful moments came on the last day of the trip. We woke, excited to be finally heading home, but torn by the the whisper of unrealized opportunities: new foods to try, side streets to explore and the endless, thrilling possibilities of just one more day in a foreign country.

In a room overlooking the Aegean Sea, we gathered to say goodbye to our traveling companions, scattering across the world to homes in New Zealand, Australia, Ireland and the United States. In the middle of goodbyes, the lady from Egypt stopped me.

Until now, we hadn’t exchanged much more than pleasantries, but I had seen her kindness to others: a woman from California lacked the necessary shoulder covering to enter The Vatican, so the Egyptian lady loaned her a beautiful scarf; she ate meals with different people and carried on friendly conversations with each person.

Aegean Sea on our last day in Greece

But now it was my turn. She grabbed my hands and started speaking in what I assumed was Arabic. She knew English – I heard her accented English many times on our trip – but for some reason, she spoke to me now in Arabic.

As I stood there, holding her hands, feeling the power of her words, a sudden comprehension flooded me with the knowledge that this was a blessing. I felt the power of that blessing reach across cultures, languages, and generations, straight from her heart and through my hands.

She finished, smiled, and walked back to her husband. I opened my mouth to call her back, to ask her to repeat the words in English, but I stopped.

The language didn’t matter; the power of her words did.

When have words changed you? Left you a little bit different than you were before you heard them?

Grammar at the Office

Tags

good impression, grammar, professional, words, writing

Today I’m going to switch gears and talk about why writing well matters. Technology has made the actual “work” of writing much easier, but it’s also given birth to shortcuts that are often out of place in the work world.

LMKs and LOLs are great when we’re emailing friends or posting on Facebook, but they’re often inappropriate in a professional setting.

Little things matter! Run-on sentences peppered with commas drag readers along breathlessly until they reach the period. I’ve noticed more and more of these sentences – they slow readers down, forcing them to re-read until the meaning becomes clear.

Proper grammar can be part of the technological revolution – it’s the backbone of solid writing, especially when it comes to marketing your products and creating a professional image.

Think of it this way – you’re on a first date with an interesting, intelligent person, enjoying dinner as you get to know each other. Halfway through the meal, you notice broccoli stuck between your date’s front teeth. This isn’t about whether or not you politely point out your companion’s new dental concern; rather, it’s about a polished image that’s altered, ever so slightly, by this one detail.

That’s what solid grammar does for you – polishes each piece of your marketing campaign and enhances your brand. And emails and interoffice communication are included here. If you’re creating an image you want your customers to embrace, every bit of communication deserves your utmost.

Get rid of the broccoli and get going on creating a polished, professional image!

Finally – the Ultimate Hiccup Cure!

Tags

editing, English history, hiccups, humor, medieval, onomatopoeia, proper grammar, strange word, weird word, weird words, words

“It is good to cast colde water in the face of him that hath the hiccups.” (Regiment of Lyfe, 1553)

“Regiment of Lyfe” was one of the first books on pediatrics, written by Thomas Phaire, an English doctor. I’m imagining medieval women storing jugs of water around their house, dousing their children at the first sign of hiccups.

http://www.abdn.ac.uk

The word “hiccup” belongs to a family of words called “onomatopoeic” (on-uh-mat-uh–pee-ic) words, those that sound like what they are. Think honk, beep, fizz, knock, ring, and you’re on the right track.

Interestingly, the word “onomatopoeia” has Latin roots, and came into use within a few decades as Phaire’s book – 1545.

Now that we know where onomatopoeic words originate, where in the heck to hiccups come from?? I turned to our friends at Mayo Clinic to learn more. Symptoms of hiccups are familiar – involuntary contractions of the diaphragm, followed by a sudden tightening of the vocal cords, which cause the “hic” sound. They’re caused by “a large meal, alcoholic beverages or sudden excitement.”

But how to rid yourself of them? Let’s try a few current remedies, like the standard one of drinking water or tickling the roof of your mouth with a cotton swab. Both of these interrupt the hiccuping cycle, but I’d opt for the first, simply because there’s too much potential for embarrassment with the second!

Think Albert ever got the hiccups?

My favorite was the suggestion that “sticking out your tongue and yanking on it may stop hiccups.” That’s not much better than having “colde water” cast in your face, and it’ll get you weird looks if you try it on the subway on your way to work.

Onomatopoeic words like hiccup and fizz are a lot of fun in general use, too.

In the heat of the candles on the dinner table, Milton’s new hair gel began to fizz. Across the table, Agnes couldn’t help herself and began to chortle loudly.

Gladys was close to the snapping point. Buford repeatedly walked around the house clacking his dentures, and Gladys was sure she’d go cuckoo if she had to endure this for much longer.

Start noticing onomatopoeic words in regular use – they’re everywhere, and definitely add zing to our everyday speech!

Weird Word Wednesday!

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colonists, copywriting, editing, farctate, grammar, history, holiday, humor, president, proofreading, proper grammar, strange word, stuffing, Thanksgiving, turkey, weird word, words, writing

metro.co.uk

It’s Weird Word Wednesday! For those of you still stuck at work, take heart – tomorrow we celebrate Thanksgiving in the United States, when most of us get a  day off work to celebrate the hours-long foodathon. Some of us even get an extra day off to recuperate!

Thanksgiving itself originated with the first settlers. In 1621, Plymouth colonists and Wampanoag Indians gathered for a harvest meal, one much different from the turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing and pie of our current feast. Instead, they probably dined on, among other things, venison, squash, corn, grapes and berries.

The tradition of a meal held in thanksgiving continued for decades, and in 1863, President Abraham Lincoln declared a national Thanksgiving Day, held each November.

While most Thanksgiving revelers might not know today’s Weird Word, they’ll certainly feel its effect after they push their chairs away from the table!

Our word is farctate. It means “stuffed; overfilled,” or “filled to capacity.”

It’s also fun to say! The “c” is hard, and the word is pronounced with the accent on the first syllable. Phonetically, it’s “FARK-tate.”

In use, it’s like this:

After wolfing down six pieces of Aunt Edna’s mincemeat pie, Eudora was so farctate that she doubted she’d be able to help with the dishes. This was a Thanksgiving trend of Eudora’s that Phoebe, Eudora’s sister-in-law, noted with great perturbation.

In another “strange but true” bird-related event:

Workers wearing biohazard suits entered a home in a Chicago suburb, removing “an estimated 300 birds, junk and waste from a hoarder’s townhouse.” The bird-loving owner’s home was so farctate that he could no longer live there safely.

Thankfully, the man lived alone! His intentions were good – he started with one bird and just couldn’t say “no” to hundreds more, so I think he can be pardoned.

Much like our nation’s official Thanksgiving turkey! It’s an odd custom with murky origins, but each November, our president pardons a Thanksgiving turkey. The grateful bird even has a “backup” bird, much like a second in a duel, only without the gunfire.

swick.co.uk

Their unfortunate cousins, however, are positively farctate by the time Thanksgiving rolls around, stuffed in preparation so we can stuff them.

Enjoy the holiday!

Weird Word Wednesday!

Tags

copywriting, editing, fashion, grammar, history, humor, medieval, proofreading, proper grammar, shoes, strange word, weird word, winklepicker, words, writing

Winklepicker! This week’s Weird Word’s just plain fun to say. Winklepicker!

Winklepickers are vaguely Medieval-looking, which is when they first came into vogue. These shoes were spotted on the feet of the French ruling class back in the late 1400s. You really had to be nimble-footed to flap around town wearing these things! Sometimes, the points were so long that wearers tied a string from their knees to the shoe’s tips to keep the points from getting in the way as they stumbled about Ye Olde Town! And they talk about suffering for fashion nowadays…

atomretro.com

A few centuries later, the winklepicker was revived, albeit with a few changes. This time, 1950s and 60s British rock ‘n rollers and their fans took to wearing them, and thankfully, these modern versions didn’t need the knee strings! These funky winklepickers sported buckles, perforations, prints, you name it. Women even got in on the act, wobbling along on high-heeled versions.

So, what is it about shoes? I was in a book store in Manitowoc, WI., a few months ago, and came across a small book about the history of shoes. I don’t remember the title, but I do remember seeing a pair of men’s high heel shoes, dating back to the early 1700s, when King Louis XIV of France, wore heeled shoes, some decorated with battle scenes. These pumps towered with five-inch heels, and Louis took it a step further, issuing a royal decree that no one else’s heels could be higher than his. Hmmm…I sense a smidgen of royal insecurity here…

blog.lulus.com

Meanwhile, in Venice, Italy, women were traipsing along on platform shoes called”chopines.” These monsters could reach twenty inches in height, and women wearing them were often accompanied by a servant who would help their mistresses totter around town. Height conferred status – the higher the platform, the higher the status of the wearer. There was a secondary purpose to chopines, too  – back then, Venice wasn’t known for being the cleanest city, with debris and even sewage clogging the streets, so being high off the walking path had its advantages. No winklepickers here!

I’ll leave the last word to a five-year-old I know. Girls this age love dressing up, and they’re not at all afraid to mix patterns with sequins, stripes and even feathers if they’re handy. When birthday time rolled around, this little girl wrote out a list of ten items she wanted, and number eight was the following:

“A pair of high hell shoes.”

That pretty well says it all!

Toad Stew

Tags

charlatan, copywriting, editing, George Washington, grammar, Henry Wiencek, history, humor, proofreading, proper grammar, snake oil, strange word, toads, toady, weird word, words, writing

I thought it might be fun to take a word we hear often enough and consider its history. I’m reading An Imperfect God: George Washington, His Slaves and the Creation of America, by Henry Wiencek. On page 157, Wiencek discusses being ruled with an “arbitrary sway” and how “that could turn a proud, independent man into a toady.”

I stopped reading at that point and wondered how in the world an amphibious term morphed into something derogatory. When I think of “toady,” other synonyms come to mind: boot licker; flunky; lackey; teacher’s pet; brown noser…the list goes on and on, and none of those terms are flattering.

Turns out we have to head back to the late 1500s to learn the answer to the riddle of how toads came to be viewed with derision. Back then, all toads were considered extremely poisonous in a “touch-them-and-die” kind of way, and trust a snake oil salesman to get on stage and come up with a way to exploit the public’s fear.

At markets and exhibitions, the unscrupulous salesman would have his assistant pretend to eat a toad. Horrified onlookers would gasp and cringe, certain that the hapless assistant was on a fast track to imminent doom.

But wait! The assistant might be gasping on the stage, clutching his throat and breathing his last, but the salesman had just the thing in his bag of tricks. Out came a bottle of snake oil, sold by the gallon to unsuspecting fairgoers, now assured that with a few gulps, their homeward journey was safe. No need to fear the gangs of toads leaping from behind trees to accost weary travelers! Whew!

The salesman’s toad-eating apprentice was called, aptly enough, a “toadeater.” Often, these assistants were young, and some were mentally challenged, which, at that time, meant they were objects of contempt, fit only for the lowest jobs. They served the needs of the snake oil salesman with their toad-eating behavior.

See where this went? Toadeaters were viewed with scorn, and over time, the term was shortened to toady, meaning anyone who served another with their behavior. Today, we consider a toady to be someone who sucks up, who behaves in a fawning manner. Not a good thing.

toadilytoads.com

Thankfully, we’ve reached Toad Enlightenment, and the little critters no longer frighten the way they used to 500 years ago. I did a little research and learned that toads are prolific pest eaters, and their presence is desired by some gardeners. I even found a website that sells toad houses, little clay things that look like charming English cottages. Line up a bunch in your garden and start your own Toad Subdivision!

Just don’t be a toady.

Weird Word Wednesday!

Tags

Barney, editing, Florence, funny, humor, Italy, proofreading, semiopathy, sign, signs, Wednesday, weird, words, writer

Wednesdays carry so much promise in our work-related culture. They’re symbolic of making it halfway through the workweek, of climbing that mountain to the peak and glimpsing Friday, glittering like a jewel only a few days away.

Humor certainly helps, and today’s weird word is a fun one. It’s semiopathy and although it’s vaguely medical-sounding, it really has nothing to do with that field. Semiopathy is the tendency to read humorously inappropriate meanings into signs.  Plain old signs like the kind that fill our world with instructions and information, not portents or omens or the doom-inducing kinds of signs. 

Take the one to the left. Semiopathy suggests that if the poor kid is ready to snap, if he’s reached critical mass after watching one too many episodes of “Barney and Friends” he can toddle over to aisle four to find some relief. Probably not what the sign’s creator had in mind, but it’s amusing nonetheless.

How about this one? Semiopathy has me imagining ladies in high heels and men wearing slick-bottomed dress shoes, all in a tangled heap at the bottom of the ramp because they didn’t “slip carefully,” while those who mastered the skill continue on to work, minus the embarrassing mishaps, scoffing slightly at their fallen comrades.

When we were in Italy last year, we stopped in Florence. It’s a wonderful city, full of rich history, absolutely beautiful architecture, great food…and one strange sign. This one popped up all over the place, and we were at a loss to figure out what it meant. No carrying heavy bars across the street? No lugging long suitcases along the sidewalk? We finally asked someone, who smiled in a very understanding fashion, like she’d been asked that many times before. She said it meant, simply, “no crossing the street at that point.” Hmmmm….I’m still not sure about this one.

So – semiopathy is the tendency of reading humorously inappropriate meanings into signs. We see them randomly, and like a small ray of sunshine and Weird Word Wednesday, they brighten our day in unexpected ways. This last sign really has no semiopathic meaning, but I share it because it’s a hoot anyhow. Have a great week!

Weird Word Wednesday!

Tags

copywriting, editing, gongoozler, humor, proofreading, rubbernecker, slacker, small town, Wednesday, weird, words, writer, writing

Wow is right! We’re halfway through the week, so it’s time for another weird, week-brightening word.

Today’s word is gongoozler.

Perhaps you know one. You maybe even work with one. But first we need to back up, historically speaking, just a tad.

The word, less than a century old, came about to describe people who stood idly by, watching activity on canals. Boats, fishermen, barges, you name it, a gongoozler would spend his days hangin’ out, watching river life floooow by.

The term was broadened to mean any person who watches work swirl around them while they do nothing. In the very small town where my grandparents lived, the older, retired men of the community would gather a few times a week at a local coffee shop to play dominoes while they kvetched about their neighbors, the glacially slow pace at which their Social Security checks took to arrive, and life in general.

The monotony broke one day when a street crew arrived to redo the storm drains. Men in orange hard hats directed the pounding of jackhammers and rumbling backhoes as an entire block of Main Street was torn up for a week or two, the relentless racket making a good game of dominoes impossible. Instead the elder statesmen headed for the sidewalks, watching – and commenting, I’m sure – as new drains were installed.

My uncle dubbed this bunch the Sidewalk Superintendents, who bore a striking resemblance to the gongoozlers of old.

See where I was going with my earlier question? I’m sure you know a gongoozler – someone who has no problem watching work take place while they give no thought to helping out.

We call them slackers or rubberneckers, and either way, they’re slightly annoying. And, alas, workplaces are filled with these people. There’s no way around it, save for hiding in the bathroom all day, which becomes impractical, especially when lunchtime rolls around.

I think the women of my grandparents’ town knew how to get rid of their gongoozlers – toss them a box of dominoes and tell them there’s a hot game happening downtown!